hope

i can’t begin to express my sorrow for the tragic events from last week. my heart has broken a million times over for each family-every parent, sibling, grandparent, friend-that has been involved. i have no words. just tears.

on sunday morning our pastor spoke on the subject, and tragedy in general. the message was simple. truths i already knew, but needed to hear again. i jotted down a few points that were especially helpful to me:

-sin and evil are NOT God’s will. ever.

-because God gave us the capacity to love freely, there is also the capacity to hurt.

-there is hope for heaven. our hope must be there, otherwise we will harden to the world.

-God can bring healing and redemption in all situations. he can take something that was not good, not a part of His will, and bring healing.

and this is what struck me most of all…

-of all the broken hearts out there, God is grieving the most. He has shed the most tears.

Such a painful and beautiful thing to remember.

thoughts on parenting

I saw this list of ways to mentor your child on one of the blogs that i follow {see it here}. I was so encouraged by it, and if it weren’t so wordy i’d print out a copy to hang on my wall as a reminder.
 
1. go to church regularly. not so a sunday school teacher can tell your child about Jesus(which, yes, will happen hopefully), but to show them the importance of living together in a christ-like community.
2. read  the bible with your child regularly. a lot of you mentioned the Jesus storybook bible. we love this too. hands down, i think it is the best children’s bible out there. and sometimes i cry when reading it…but whatevs.
3. memorize scripture with your child. for example, have a verse of the week. write it on a chalkboard. practice it in the morning and at night. apply those verses to every day situations…i.e. when they’re afraid, when they need an attitude change, when they need to show gratitude.
4. talk often about heart motivations, which leads to bad behaviour.
5. dream, plan, and pray about what you want to see in your family. write it down and pray it through.
6. remind children that obedience is obedience if it is: all the way, right away, and with a happy heart. if it is not all those things, it demands a consequence.
7. put your iphone away. or is it your computer, blog, craft, cleaning, etc? BE PRESENT when interacting with your child.
8. pray with your child. not just at bedtime. pray through rough situations with them.thank God for fun things. help them to know how to repent. pray that your child experiences the Gospel in a real way.
9. ask your child for forgiveness when you mess up. tell them what heart motivations led you to your behavior. model repentance.
10. journal your life honestly. journal your prayers and dreams for your children. this could be done once a year on their birthday. or more often.
11. eat dinner together as a family. no TV. no phones. no distractions. talk about their day…play high and low. what was your high today and what was your low?
12. build encouragement into your kids. build them up during the day or around the dinner table.say encouraging things to them alone and  in front of others.
13. go through “catechism” questions with your children. it may seem outdated (actually, up until last year i thought it was just for catholics), but the word catechism just means to teach a biblical truth in an orderly way. it is amazing how many of us don’t know the answer to simple biblical truths as we reach adulthood. 
14. model character traits you want to see in your children. ask God to help you model them. if you don’t like it when your kid lies, don’t lie to them. if you want your kids to be grateful, don’t complain constantly. the list goes on and on.
 
we’re entering a new phase of parenting an older child, and with that comes a whole new set of responsibilities, joys and challenges. this kind of gave some direction to some things that have been on my heart. maybe i really should condense it and print it out. i like visual reminders :)
 
on a similar note, my mom cleaned out my old closet and found my old journals. brian and i died laughing as we read through a bunch of old letters to my future husband. seriously. so. embarrassing.  anyway, i found this list of parenting advice written when i was 14 years old.
 
things to remember when i’m a parent:
1. never “ground” my kids
2. never handle anything the way my mom would
3 always be consistent in parenting
4. never “check up” on my kids to make sure they’re where they’re supposed to be
5. always trust them and they’re judgement
6. always fix dinner or food no matter when they want it
7. never fight over ridiculous things
8. never make my kids talk if they don’t want to
9. never snoop through my kids stuff unlike my nosy mother
 
is this not the most hilarious thing you’ve ever read?! good thing i had 11 years to grow up before becoming a parent!