Well, Finley’s sleep issue has not resolved itself so we have decided to be proactive about it. I spent all day yesterday reading up on various sleep training approaches. Basically there is the CIO (cry it out) method and the AP (attachment parenting method-always respond to babies cries). Brian and I sat down last evening as if we were at a business meeting and went over all the current sleep research. We decided to take a middle of the road approach. Because we know how things can change during sleep deprivation we outlined our strategy in specific detail.
1) I am not allowed to be present-she can’t hear me, smell me, or see me (yay for me, bad news for brian)
2) Brian will let her cry for 5 minutes before responding to her
3) He will give her the binki and blanket to soothe her
4) He will pat her bum
5) He will pick her up and bounce/sway her
6) When crying has totaled 30 minutes he will give her a bottle and try again at the next wakening
Everything went according to plan the first time she woke up. She cried. I covered my ears with two pillows and the comforter. I cried. He ended up having to feed her. No big deal. We knew this was going to take time. When she woke up the second time, the plan went out the window. I heard her cry and then I heard Brian feeding her. What happened to steps 1-5? All the sudden he began quoting AP research! Was he looking for the easy way out or did her crying really get to him? Maybe both, but I don’t think he’s a tough as he thinks he is!
Oh my goodness….the sleep issues!!!!!!!!!! Before you have a child of your own, you kinda just think babies eventually sleep through the night: WRONG!!! And then, nobody tells you there are about a million and seven different ways you can approach the issue…do you give the pacifier back every time it falls out, do you pick them up to soothe them every 5 minutes or increase it, and yadda yadda yadda. I am SOOO glad to hear somebody else is experiencing this. All I can say to you is good luck. It really sucks to listen to your baby cry, so I can totally empathize there. And just so you don’t feel bad, it took us from months 6 through 10 to finally figure things out. And really, nothing worked until we just put him down in the crib awake in the evening and didn’t go in until the morning. Cold turkey was the only thing that worked, all the other options just made it worse because he would expect some form of comfort every time he heard or saw us. Sorry to ramble, but I just wanted to say “good luck with that” and I can totally understand the struggle. But it will work eventually and you will be able to sleep through the night once again….and it will be awesome when you do!!! Hang in there!
I read the book and it made sense to me but didn’t work with Naomi but maybe the “No Cry Sleep Solution” would work for you guys. I’ve heard a bunch of people say they liked it. It is pretty similar to what you are trying but it will give you a little guidance in steps to take. I don’t have the book anymore or I’d loan it to you. Unfortunately Naomi was the kind of kid only crying would work. The rest just made her more mad at us (and us at her which isn’t a good combo). Thankfully God gave us a break and gave us Daphne who was easy to teach how to sleep!!